Time

He looked utterly miserable during karaoke. Deeply, deeply unhappy. I wanted to give him a huge, just to make him smile a little, but that's not my job anymore, and the time was never right.

Time.

I wish time would help me out a little bit. Time heals all. I wish time would heal a little faster. I wish I could sit across from him and not...feel what I feel. It's gotten better, but not fast enough. And even as far as I back away from him, we still have mutual friends that I'm not willing to give up.

I wish he was happy, traveling the world and doing all that he wanted to do. Then, at least, he wouldn't bee popping back into my life every few days, and I could have the time I need to move on.

I wish I moved on faster. I wish I could turn "it" off like he so easily did. I wish the friendship downgrade was so simple for me.

I wish he had smiled tonight. He has a brilliant smile, full of warmth, and when he is happy he radiates it.

He is still very special, despite all this.

I do better when I'm not around him. But these two outings have just kicked me back to square three.

I know that eventually I will be fine, and work BS will be sorted out and things will be good. But sometimes that day seems very far.

Please, time, help me out on this one.